My Best Friend Porn

Why Am I just learning the name Jasmine Fox? Holy shit, her body is ridiculous. She’s so hot it actually makes me mad.

Do you have a fetish for Asians in pantyhose or stockings? Well, after watching this scene you will.

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“Like throwing a toothpick into the grand canyon.”

“Like throwing a corn dog down a hallway.”

I have to admit, this girl is pretty funny as she mocks this guy’s tiny dick.

SHE SAYS:
I have to say that I loved everything about this clip…except for the lack of cum. I have to tell you though, it made me want to dress in my finest thigh high stockings and get fucked from behind. Mmmmmmm, porn…why do I ♥ you more than most people I know?

SHE SAYS:

My maid fantasy is a little more subtle than these. I think the classic outfit is a little too costumey, but I still think it is sexy. I like the idea of a short skirt, thigh highs, and a garter belt. I also like the idea of there being a very long tease. The first clip has a bit of the tease in there…but I would go even further. Maybe start off with a shirt ON or something? Well, without further ado, here are three very different French Maid-themed clips. Enjoy!

HE SAYS:
I know it’s a cliche, but the French maid outfit is fucking hot! Even the cheap ones from your local sex shop are hot. It really is one of the all-time great fantasies and The Girl rules for posting this collection of maid porn!

Ummm…yeah. So, there’s a lot of asshole licking. Not quite my style, but maybe you poop-loving folks will get a kick out of it.

Wonderful lesbian scene. Not quite sure if they are maids or where that ties in, but it doesn’t matter, does it?

SHE SAYS:
I think that this clip is odd and confusing. It is ALMOST sexy. I think that the girls are sexy, their outfits are sexy and the slow-motion stuff is almost sexy. The music is very dramatic and not fun at all, and I really thought that the dramatic music would have at least meant I would have been able to see a little kissing, or even a little carpet munch by the end of the two minutes. Nothing. The fact that she is smoking is definitely not sexy. And the fact that cigarette smoke ends up being blown onto an innocent pussy – what is going on in the world? When can a nice, innocent pussy be filmed without having to worry about smoke being blown on it? Has anyone heard of vulva cancer? I have. Guess what the #1 cause of vulva cancer is? Fucking flapper bitches blowing shotgun second-hand smoke onto poor, sweet pussies. I hope to live in a world where one day a pussy can walk down the street not having to worry about such atrocious, hideous actions being performed on it. I really do wish they would have skipped the cigarettes and made it sexier and longer – maybe a little tongue action or something. Oh, porn. Why do you let me down sometimes?

SHE SAYS:
Damn it! I am the type of person that loves weirdness in any form but these just kinda freak me out! Everything looks phallic or well, like a vagina (is there a word for “look like a vagina”?) I understand that that is the aesthetic to this type of “art”, and porn can be much worse, but it is just so odd to me to see a need for something as crazy as this. It is not at all like the Hentai cartoons, which depict more real-life situations. Yes, the Hentai are not great and are mainly demeaning, but the premise is usually easily understood. These vintage German (I know it is dubbed with something else and I could be totally wrong on both of those statements: the German branding and the dubbing) are just fucking weird. And I love fucking weird! But these are really fucking weird. The Orgasator? The plug genitals? The penis monster? The topless fairies? The vagina queen that consumed the astronauts alive? The eggs??????? FUCK! I did enjoy it. And that plug kinda got me horny.

HE SAYS:
Wait, who has been recording my dreams?

Lucie B is good at looking good naked in bed. A skill more people should possess.