My Best Friend Porn

HE SAYS:
Oh porn, I love you so much but you often let me down. Most new porn is total crap. It’s the same old rough sex and gagging blowjobs with some skank girl who ends up with unwanted cum on her face. Where’s the romance! This clip is sexy! This girl is sexy! More porn should be like this. Awesome cumshot!

Gorgeous Latina Tittyfuck brought to you by PornHub

HE SAYS:
I love 80’s porn and I love Ebony Aye, the star of this clip. She made many appearances on most of the VHS porn compilations I was able to acquire as a teen in the 80s. I like that she looks like a real woman and not some cartoonish stripper whore. I should also point out that I know someone who might own those EXACT chairs!

I ♥ 80s porn!

SHE SAYS:

So, what do you do while you are waiting for a guy to jerk off on your face? Make sexy faces, of course! What the flying fuck is this girl doing? She is looking directly at the camera for 40 seconds and desperately going through her grab bag of what she thinks is a “sexy face.” Let’s analyze these mother fuckers:

Classic “Kiss Lips”:

Used mainly by teens and girls who already have used about 30 of their fake smiles, so they have to move onto something else.

The “Elvis”:

Used mainly as a transition sexy face. Only used for no more than 2 seconds at a time. In this instance, she is transitioning from “Kiss Lips” to something a bit more difficult.

The “OMG, what the fuck am I going to do for the next 30 seconds?! Is he cumming yet?” A.K.A. OMGWTFAIGTDFTN30S:

Self explanatory.

The “Finally!”

Seriously.

And this one is called “The Clip”

(I am so funny.)

HE SAYS:
She’s a bit of a butter face, but she gives a quality tittyfuck. I guess some of you perverts like it when a girl never stops talking, but I find all her chit chat to be distracting. Blah blah blah. I like how at the end of this clip they do a little recap set to music of what we just saw. I think all pornos should end like this. It’s a nice way to look back and say “Awwwww, remember when that guy shot that huge load of cum all over her throat? That was special.” It was made even more special by showing it in slow motion.

SHE SAYS:

My maid fantasy is a little more subtle than these. I think the classic outfit is a little too costumey, but I still think it is sexy. I like the idea of a short skirt, thigh highs, and a garter belt. I also like the idea of there being a very long tease. The first clip has a bit of the tease in there…but I would go even further. Maybe start off with a shirt ON or something? Well, without further ado, here are three very different French Maid-themed clips. Enjoy!

HE SAYS:
I know it’s a cliche, but the French maid outfit is fucking hot! Even the cheap ones from your local sex shop are hot. It really is one of the all-time great fantasies and The Girl rules for posting this collection of maid porn!

Ummm…yeah. So, there’s a lot of asshole licking. Not quite my style, but maybe you poop-loving folks will get a kick out of it.

Wonderful lesbian scene. Not quite sure if they are maids or where that ties in, but it doesn’t matter, does it?

HE SAYS:
Huh. Um. Hmmmmm. Just watch it.

SHE SAYS:
I watched it and masturbated to it. What does that say about me?

HE SAYS:
I mostly like this clip but only because I like the girl and her perfect natural tits. This guy needs to go to film school to learn a little bit about shooting POV porn. Alternatively, he could invest in a tripod. I could do without the 2 minutes of cum-feeding at the end, but I realize some of you fucking pervy perverts will love it. SICKOS! Sorry, I just need a nap.

SHE SAYS:
Yeah, it was sorta hot but I agree with The Guy here. This guy could put the camera down for a little bit and also stop shoveling the cum into this girl’s mouth. Yeah, cum is hot, but I don’t want it to be put into my mouth in the same method a Zimbabwe mother puts white rice into her infant’s mouth.

HE SAYS:
This pony-tailed weirdo must be great at business because he appears to live in a European castle. Plus, he can afford the best white pants money can buy! OK, joking aside, I thought this clip was really hot. I love that it takes a while to get going and I love all the boob fondling in the beginning. Plus, you really can’t go wrong with the sexy secretary theme, especially when they have black stockings and lingerie peaking out from their business attire. The best thing about this clip is that it did not end with the girl saying something like “well, Mr. Johnson, did I get that raise” like most of these scenarios do.
SHE SAYS:
Well, I actually think that his worksuit and his performance was very professional. My boss never was as classy as to cum on my chest…he always gave me facials. This girl actually allows me to aspire for better – for chest cumshots – for back cumshots – maybe even the classiest: a creampie! Yes, I deserve more than a facial. I am better than that! Thank you slutty secretary, for showing me how it is done.