My Best Friend Porn

HE SAYS:
I swear it’s just a coincidence the The Girl posted a squirting lesbian clip and here I am doing the same. Great perverted minds think alike. I’m actually kind of posting this one for her because I’m positive she will love the way the scene takes its time and builds slowly. Personally, I found the first several minutes to be incredibly sexy. Most porn today ignores the tease, but not this scene.

SHE SAYS:
There are two questions that have been keeping me up at night. 1. What has our beloved friend Pussyman been up to and 2. What does a slo-mo squirt look like coming out of a giant-lipped vagina? Thankfully, this clip answered both! Pussyman is doing what he does best: quietly and patiently observing two skinny teen-boobed porn-gals lick and pound each other with dildos until one of them squirts. Thankfully one of them did. Thankfully Pussyman has slow-motion technology up his sleeve and we get to see the woman’s juice repeatedly spray all over the unlucky, non-squirty party (is that Jassie, by the way?) Enjoy.

HE SAYS:
What is with modern porn stars and their fascination with constantly swearing? Every second it’s “ooooh fuck” and “ahhhh shit” with these people. It’s annoying. You know what else is annoying, this green carpet! Damn, who buys carpet like this? Does the carpeting match the drapes? No, there are no drapes on either the windows or the girls. Luckily with carpet this ugly it does not matter when Cytherea squirts all over it. So yeah, Cytherea squirts all over the place before finally getting a creampie. Cythera has good manners and immediately shares her creampie with her little blonde friend. Sharing is caring.

SHE SAYS:
I just want to squirt! I just do, all right? I did give myself a g-spot orgasm while watching this, but that’s not enough. Mark my words (literally, either print up this post or jot this down somewhere): I will squirt one day. By god, I will squirt one day.

HE SAYS:
I’m not into golden shower porn but I don’t have a problem with other people liking it. So why am I posting these clips that I didn’t even really watch? 1) I’m feeling lazy 2) I want to make sure all you perverts get what you want from this site! Without further ado, here are some people pissing on other people.

There’s a little bit of everything in this clip. Hookers, public sex, pissing, blowjob and construction equipment.

A bunch of Germans peeing on each other. PEE WARS!

Girls wetting their panties while the world’s greatest song plays!

Pissing lesbians pissing all over the place. It’s not very ladylike!

HE SAYS:
Finally a guy gets a fucking facial. Take that buddy! Well, he gives her one in return, which is only fair. This super cute Asian girl gets a major pussy licking until she explodes all over the place. Then she sucks and fucks a tiny dick which is kind of sad. I am really happy my dick is 15 inches, I would hate to have a tiny tool like this guy. She seemed to like it though. Who am I to judge? I’m the guy with the blog, that’s who!

HE SAYS:
Two things I hate about Japanese porn… 1) Obviously the censoring of genitalia is incredibly lame and distracting and 2) the girls always make those baby noises. HOWEVER, I love this clip. What’s not to love? A hot Japanese girl with huge natural boobs fucking and squirting all over the place like a beautiful magic vagina fountain? Yes please, thank you! All male porn actors take note and be more like this guy. I like that he takes a backseat and let’s Hitomi Tanaka be the squirting star she is!
SHE SAYS:
Jizzus Chests! Those things are HUGE! I have never seen such gargantuan montezumas on a Japanese girl! I don’t like the baby voice but I do LOVE that this girl looks like Tori Spelling if she were born Japanese. Seriously, that is all I could think about. They literally have the same exact skull. I know they are different races but seriously, something about this girl’s face screams “Donna” to me. OH, and I wish I could squirt. I’ve tried! I really have.

SHE SAYS:
Wait, WHAT??? Did he wipe? I am not sure how I feel about this clip. I thought the girl was cute, and was hoping for a match with the guy, but he sucks. He thinks he is hiding his gut with that open button down but it is just not doing the trick – especially during the blow job. Speaking of that monstrosity, the blow job has that gagging action…and that tired dick-slapping-on-girl’s-tongue action. I am sorry, but I think that both of these BJ moves are gross! Guys: do you like the way our face looks when we are being gagged? Do you want us to throw up on you? Why is that hot? There is a squirting part, which is OK, I guess, but I am still up in the air on the whole squirting thing. This guy looks like he is being a bit too rough with her. I think she may have just peed on him in an effort to stop him from ripping her vagina in two (or three separate but equal parts.) Then they fuck. OK. That’s fine. The cum shot is OK. I don’t know…I don’t love this clip and I don’t hate it either. OH NO! Indifference! I can’t do that so I guess I will say I don’t like it. I still like it a little but I don’t like it more.