My Best Friend Porn

Sadly, one of the greatest humans on the planet, Bob Guccione, has pasted on, but luckily for us, he left a long legacy of incredible jerk off material. If all porn except for Penthouse magazine disappeared from the earth I would have no problem finding plenty of inspiration for private self-love sessions.

Penthouse magazine has the reputation of being much raunchier than its rival Playboy but I don’t think that’s exactly accurate, at least not up until the 90s when everyone started competing with hardcore porn movies. I would argue that Penthouse was sexual while Playboy was kind of sterile. Don’t get me wrong, I jerked off to both magazines A LOT in high school but, looking back, I can now see that Playboy was selling pretty girls and Penthouse was selling SEX!

[Huge Penthouse gallery after the jump]

Penthouse was selling sex but it was more subtle than you might think. Sure, Penthouse would “show more” but Guccione’s magazine was better at the art of the tease than you might think. Penthouse knew how to present seduction in a less obvious way than Playboy and the end result was fucking sexy! They even found a way to make people masturbate to the written word thanks to the “true” stories found in “Forum.” Holy shit, Forum was as fucking hot as the pictorials!

Current pornographers should learn a thing or two from Bob Guccione. Less really can be much more when it comes to the erotic arts. Rest in peace Bob and thank you for some of the best self-induced orgasms of my life!

Why Penthouse is awesome:
- Huge fuzzy bush
- Fur Coats
- Nude girls on the beach literally fucking the ocean
- Girls only wearing the top half of bikinis
- Pool Floats!
- 1/2 open robes and shirts
- Lesbians
- Lace gloves (you know you miss them)
- TAN LINES!
- Finally, my favorite, the hand lazily touching the vagina

Our tribute to Penthouse Magazine

You may know her by one of her many names, Joyce Gibson, Alexis Love, Joyce Mandel, Rinah or you may just know her as the vintage pin-up with huge breasts and a big fuzzy bush. You may know her from her career as a nudie magazine model in the 60s and 70s or as one of Russ Meyers super busty actresses. Maybe you know that she and I share a birthday. Maybe you don’t know Joyce Gibson at all! Just look at this gallery and leave me alone.

Did you happen to hear David Arquette on Howard Stern fessing up that his mom, Brenda DeNault, was once a pin up and fetish model? Well I did, and being a perv I immediately had to see for myself. It’s easy to see the resemblance to her daughter Rosanna Arquette in these vintage photos. Brenda DeNault also appeared in the 1964 lesbian bondage B-movie “Olga’s House of Shame.”

So sit back, dim the lights, drink some Scotch and start wacking it to David Arquette’s mom.

I can’t decide if I love the internet or hate it. I think I might hate it. Well, I don’t know, maybe I love it. I honestly can’t decide.

So anyway, Lazer Tits

Have you ever wanted to take a time machine back to the 1990s and have the ability to get any girl you see naked? If so, you have weird desires, but you are in luck thanks to this weirdness.

HE SAYS:
I have no idea what is going on in this retro lesbian scene, but I know that I like it. It has something to do with a camera crew secretly filming a first time lesbian and her cave woman lover. Throw in a some big hairy bush, a dramatic synth soundtrack, a creepy old man, four giant tits and you have yourself some classic vintage porn. Anyone know the name of the movie this is from?

HE SAYS:
I love 80′s porn and I love Ebony Aye, the star of this clip. She made many appearances on most of the VHS porn compilations I was able to acquire as a teen in the 80s. I like that she looks like a real woman and not some cartoonish stripper whore. I should also point out that I know someone who might own those EXACT chairs!

I ♥ 80s porn!

I really need to check out this internet thing!