My Best Friend Porn » Pig Roast

Crazy 90s clothes make threesome crazier.

The Girl — Fri, 29 May 2009 13:00:53 +0000

SHE SAYS:
Who wouldn’t be turned on by shells or white rocks of some sort? God, that pair of light-colored-high-waisted denim slacks would really be all that I need to get an orgasm on the spot. And all you’d have to do is keep that crazy shirt on to make me have all of your babies…and, well, if you keep those crazy socks on, I will let you pig roast me and let you film it. Because of this clip, I’ve realized that it doesn’t take much to get a girl to do porn. All you need is the appropriate clothing and to know when to take it off – and more importantly – when to leave it on.

HE SAYS:
There are so many competing colors and crazy fabrics that I almost had a seizure. This guy’s crazy ass shirt almost blends in with the ugly couch like some sort of ridiculous camouflage. I hate these people and I hate their sex. I really don’t enjoy watching two guys fucking a girl, especially when one guy is in the puss and the other is up the pooper. I know a lot of people like to watch that but it does nothing for me. Well it does something, it makes me want to go watch People’s Court instead. I wonder if the guy on the bottom got a little jizzed on when the first guy was cumming. The whole scenario just makes me sad.

I need an ORGASATOR! You heard me.

The Girl — Tue, 19 May 2009 14:31:11 +0000

SHE SAYS:
Damn it! I am the type of person that loves weirdness in any form but these just kinda freak me out! Everything looks phallic or well, like a vagina (is there a word for “look like a vagina”?) I understand that that is the aesthetic to this type of “art”, and porn can be much worse, but it is just so odd to me to see a need for something as crazy as this. It is not at all like the Hentai cartoons, which depict more real-life situations. Yes, the Hentai are not great and are mainly demeaning, but the premise is usually easily understood. These vintage German (I know it is dubbed with something else and I could be totally wrong on both of those statements: the German branding and the dubbing) are just fucking weird. And I love fucking weird! But these are really fucking weird. The Orgasator? The plug genitals? The penis monster? The topless fairies? The vagina queen that consumed the astronauts alive? The eggs??????? FUCK! I did enjoy it. And that plug kinda got me horny.

HE SAYS:
Wait, who has been recording my dreams?

Pig Roast gets The Girl hungry for Big Penises!

The Girl — Sun, 17 May 2009 12:52:35 +0000

SHE SAYS:
I will admit it, I didn’t know what a pig roast was until today. I am not sure if I would ever like to participate in this type of pig roast. Where are the pineapples? The leis? THE POI? OK, skip the Poi but I think we are definitely missing something here. Oh yeah! We are missing attractive people and sexiness. That’s all. OK, so this is not my ideal porn clip BUT I do have to say that that blond guy’s dick is really so big that it intrigues me. It is intriguing yet scary, yet sexy? It’s curve is sorta threatening. I don’t know though – I have never been with a guy with a gigantic curvy dick. I wonder if anyone has a dick that curves one way, than another. I am now going to have to google-image “curvy dick” thanks to this clip. What a great way to start a Sunday morning! Happy Sabbath Day everyone!

OK, so I did google it. Unfortunately, I got a lot of curvy women. Then I google-imaged “hook penis” and REALLY UNFORTUNATELY got pics of hooks in penises and a fish hook in an eye! Then I tried “big curve penis” and thankfully got this wonderful, beautiful, hornifying, beautiful, sexy, beautiful image. I know two things: I am going to have to mastubate to this underwear boner image right now and I definitely know what I want for my birthday. I ♥ UNDERWEAR BONERS!