My Best Friend Porn

Man, Peter North has ruined a lot of carpet in his career. I would never invite that guy over to my house! Talk about cum ropes, this guy is the fucking king! Is there a porn hall-of-fame? If there is, he better have been the first guy inducted. Put on your goggles and enjoy 15 minutes of Peter North trying to drown porn starlets with gallons of cum.

SHE SAYS:
I am happy Peter North takes off his clothes quickly because that headband really wasn’t working on him. Other than that, this clip was AWESOME. I loved it from the quick little dialogue about Peter being back from his trip, the nipple play, the fingering, the soapy handjob, the doggy style fucking and even the wallpaper! I basically want to duplicate this scene and this bathroom in real life. Ahhh, my dreams. Enjoy this sexy clip and promise me you at least try for a two-fer. I ♥ Peter North and I ♥ porn!

HE SAYS:
80s porn is the best! Listen up all you youngsters making porn in 2009, watch this clip and learn. It’s so nice to see a scene the does not include gagging blowjobs, forced anal, cock-across-the-face-slapping, tears and unwanted facials. High-five 80s porn! This is an awesome scene, very hot. My only complaint is the lack of Peter’s trademark geyser of cum. What’s wrong Peter, I’m worried about you.

HE SAYS:
If the music alone does not make you cum in your parachute pants then you have serious problems. If the synth jam doesn’t do the the trick then Christy Canyon’s awesome tan lines better have you cumming rainbows and shooting doves out of your butthole. I love Christy Canyon, in fact she might be my all-time favorite porn star. It’s always good to see her working with Peter North too, especially when he shows up for work in powder blue briefs and a matching Le Tigre shirt. I always imagined that Christy and Peter had a genuine love affair off camera. I really hope that is true for some reason. Imagine how hot their REAL sex would be. I can’t get this totally rad song out of my head!
SHE SAYS:
Do we have to agree on everything? I love the song too! I want to make sweet bushy love to this song and have officially put the appoitment on my calendar. In other news, did you hear Peter North say, “I’m a Geyser” at the end? I love that! I really loved how they were enjoying each other and it was obvious they were having fun. I have to say that I may have seen a little love in their eyes. Awww…Peter North + Christy Canyon = 4eva ♥ ♥ ♥

SHE SAYS:
It is funny, The Guy and I have discussed what grosses us out about some threesome porn, and I KNOW that he is going to despise this clip. I don’t even think “despise” is a strong enough word…I think he will definitely hate this clip. He will hate it more than I did, but only by a little bit. I hated the clip because I had to look at a pile of people on a couch grunting and moaning, but nothing to me looked sexy. Nothing looked like it felt good. There is, however, one exception. The second guy’s orgasm looked like it felt good. It shot right into her mouth like a squirt gun! But, I don’t know how it felt for him, and I don’t know what an orgasm feels like for a guy. Correct me if I am wrong, but I always assumed that it felt better/stronger if the cum came out fast and strong. I could be way off. I wonder…

HE SAYS:
When it comes to a male orgasm I would have to say yes and no to your cum theory. From what I can tell from years of watching porn, all guys are different when it comes to how they cum. Sure, we all want to be Peter North but Peter was born with a gift, a gift handed to him directly from God. In my own experience shooting a “cum rope” has a lot to do with timing. If you notice, most male porn stars will practically choke their dick to death right before cumming on some sad girl’s face. They are simply letting the cum build up in their boner allowing for more of an explosion. It’s like if you were to plug up a soda bottle with a grape and then shake the bottle. The other way to achieve rope-dom is really just luck. For example, if your hand happens to be stroking away from your body at the exact time you are starting to cum it can cause you to really shoot. Like squeezing toothpaste out of the tube.

In summation, a big ropey cumshot mostly has to do with the individuals physical make up. Some guys are shooters and some guys are dribblers. Some guys produce enough cum to film a coffee mug (Peter North) and some guys produce a normal amount (the rest of us). Beyond that, your best chance at shooting across the room is to hold it for as long as you can and time your stroking.

Oh, the clip… I hated every second of it! sure, the acting was good but I never need to see two dicks that closeup or close to each other. I’m not homophobic in ANY way but guy-guy-girl threesomes do nothing for me. Also, as a white guy I don’t really enjoy porn with black guys because I can’t imagine myself in the scene as easily. No, I’m not racist and yes I’m jealous of black guy’s giant dicks.

HE SAYS:
Peter North is like the Beatles of cumming. I’m just worried he’s going to drown some poor girl some day. You can see the fear in their eyes as he unloads gallons of cum all over their faces. Although, it must be an honor to get a facial from Peter North. It’s something to write home about for sure. Someone needs to invent a car that runs on Peter’s jizz. Oil crisis solved!

HE SAYS:
Once again we find Peter North trying to drown a young porn star with his cum. Nadia Stylez does a pretty good job of handling his milkshake though. Maybe she should be a competitive eater. Nadia doesn’t get a perfect grade however. I fucking HATE loud, stupid, slurppy, gaggy, noisy, slobbery blowjobs. It’s not sexy! I understand a good blowjob will naturally produce a little noise but I hate this exaggerated fake silly nonsense.
SHE SAYS:
You forgot screamy and spitty. I completely agree. Completely. I hate seeing it and definitely don’t want to do it.

HE SAYS:
Did you know Nina Hartley is still in porn? She began her adult film career in 1984, just about the time I started to find ways to get my pervy hands on X-rated videos. So Nina and I have a bit of a history. She and I have had a lot of sex together via the magic of VHS.

In this clip Nina talks about why she loves porn then shows some young whippersnapper why she is a legend. Plus while getting fucked in the ass she comes up with the amazing quote – “oh fuck, you’re so fucking in my ass!” Only a true legend could come up with that poetry.

Here’s Nina working with one of her favorite men, Peter North. Man, that guy has probably fucked 45% of the women on planet Earth. Is it just me or is he only bench pressing about 15 lbs in the beginning of this scene?

Nina Hartley fucks Britt Morgan with a strap-on while swimming in a sea of big, blonde, 80′s hair!

SHE SAYS:
I can really go either way with this clip. The beginning is just confusing. “Suck my dick, give ‘em a hand!” Was that a magic trick? If someone can clear that up for me that’d be great. Anyways, It has that early 90′s vibe with the great soft porn music playing throughout the entire time, which is nice. The British Knights High Tops and thick scrunch socks, worn by Mr. Peter North are a serious plus. The blow job is kind of rough though, and JR’s reaction to the initial insertion is WAY to exaggerated. I want to believe the girl in porn. I really, really want to be able to sort of feel what she is feeling. I just don’t believe her. Although I tried to get off during this clip I just couldn’t make it without laughing. What really wasn’t helping were the variety of positions on the stairs – they were actually getting me a bit nervous. So, all in all, the clip is OK. It’s kind of comical, and definitely worth watching for the cum shot at the end. I like when the cum shot is somewhere other than the girl’s face. But do I even need to tell you to watch the cum shot if I already said the name “Peter North?” Cum shot.

Sort-of enjoy!

HE SAYS:
I actually bought one of these Butt-A-Lizers in the 80′s and I found that it just made me feel uncomfortable and ashamed. To be fair, the “custom fitted butt squeezers” did eventually mold my butt into a thing of beauty. “Alright! Suck my dick!” God bless porn, each and every one of us.