My Best Friend Porn

HE SAYS:
Seriously, somebody needs to explain to me what it is about Japanese culture that leads to all this insane fetish porn. I guess it’s all the repression. I like that at first this girl is terrified of this horny monster but eventually becomes so turned on that she sucks his giant mouth dick and takes a load of tentacle cum all over her pixelated pussy. More proof that chicks dig bad boys.

HE SAYS:
Oh porn, why do you always let me down? Just when I think porn is my best friend again, it goes and does something stupid like show me a woman fucking a bowling pin. Fine, she wants huge shit jammed up her snatch, it’s not my thing but whatever. But why does a bowling pin need to be included? It really seems like 13 year old boys come up with this shit sometimes.
SHE SAYS:
Jeeze, and I thought that the bowling pin was going to be the only thing that shocked me…her look shocked me. I have seen some small tits in my day, but I honestly don’t think that this girl has any breast tissue at all. I feel bad for her. I also feel bad for her pussy. Nothing that big should ever be shoved inside a poor, defenseless pussy! I treat my pussy with tender loving care, and I think all girls should do the same. Maybe god knew that she was going to treat her woman parts so harshly and decided to not give her breasts because he knew she’d pierce them together or cut them off as part of an extreme body modification or something. Yeah, I decided that is what happened. Now I don’t like her. I hope he also neglected to give her ovaries, because I don’t think this girl should be procreating. I hate her make up too. Basically I hate her. Someone should probably punch this girl in the face if they know her or know of her. Punch her in the ovary too while you are at it, just in case she has them. Thank you.

Do you love the sight of gay men with boners? Are you also a fan of interior design so tragic it would make a Jeff Foxworthy fan barf up his Budweiser? If you answered yes to those questions, then prepare for the greatest and worst thing you have ever seen. LuridDigs.com is a collection of gay amateur photos that put an end to the myth that gay men are neat and have impeccable taste. Top it all off with hilarious commentary from the editors, and the next thing you know, you’ve spent two hours on a gay website for the first time.

Next up on the cavalcade of failure is Way To Suck That Dick. This blog teaches us all that taking pictures of your sexual activity is never a good idea. It also teaches us that allowing those photos to leak all over the internet is an even worse idea. I particularly enjoy the “cock” category. Enjoy, sort of.

I took this photo today on my phone of a fly fucking the shit out of some other slut fly. That is all.

Are you an ass man? Or, perhaps you are more attracted to a woman’s eyes. Finally there is a solution for you. I give you WINKERS!

MERRY CHRISTMAS PERVERTS!

Wait, it’s only August? Shit. Well, click it anyway to see what’s in the box.

SHE SAYS:
You’d think that a 40-year-old black midget would have his own reality show on TLC or something, but our little friend Beetlejuice finds himself doing a bunch of things that any mother of a midget would be proud of. Did you know that Beetlejuice’s dad wanted him to work for Ringling Bros. in the 70s? Well, I am happy he had the noggin to refuse joining the circus because he’s had lots of quality time to brush up on his dick-swinging-skills! In this clip you will find him performing a helicopter with his cock, getting smacked in the face with giant natural boobs, and fucking one lucky gal like a jackrabbit. If you are a fan of his performance in Bubble Boy, there’s no doubt you’ll love this. ENJOY!

HE SAYS:
The part where Beetlejuice and the other midget fuck/wrestle the hooker(?) is truly magical. Magical, as in, I never want to see another human being again. I want global warming to kill us all. I want the sun to explode. I want to moon to crash into Earth. I want wild animals to eat us and reclaim the planet. I want to build a fort and cry myself to death.

SHE SAYS:
Don’t you love what drugs did to, like, EVERYTHING in the 70s? What the fuck is that mask created from? What was he supposed to be, a cartoon character? Was she a prostitute? Were they at a circus? Why did he have a fake penis? Was that part of the cartoon character persona…having a fake dick? And what happened at the end? Did her bush come off on his dildo-dick? What was the joke? I just don’t understand!

HE SAYS:
I really don’t think this couple should be dating, they obviously have anger issues. I’m not even sure they LIKE each other, forget about love! They could try couple’s therapy but to be honest, I don’t see it changing the current abusive nature of their relationship. I would love to see this kids make it but it seems unlikely.