SHE SAYS:
What? This tanning bed and light jeans loving Fuck holds this poor little Asian above his head while he licks her pussy. This just doesn’t look comfortable. Well, hang on to your knickers and thongs everybody, this guy loves to mime spanking with his belt almost as much as he loves the smell of bleach during his 8AM salon appointments with Judy. I have to say though, as much as I hate her taste in music and his personal style, I kinda liked the blow job and I liked the way it looked when he was entering her from behind. But WAIT! If you are going to skip around, like I did, skip to 23:00. Let’s just say the editing doesn’t make any sense and I think it is probably the best thing ever.
SHE SAYS:
Don’t you love the internet? Don’t you love freaks? I know I do! I wonder if this girl knows she had a stub. I wonder if it was removed when she was a child. I guess she could have grown up with the stub, ridiculed every day of her grade-school life, losing a bit of self-esteem with every tear that streamed down her face as she was being chased home by bullies. I guess she could have grown up and decided to use the last ounce of confidence she had deep inside of her to start practicing her dance moves in front of the mirror to “What a Feeling” blasting in the background. Being very inspired by Flashdance and Jennifer Beals’ nose modification story she could have then used that inspiration and new-found, self-taught dancing skills and auditioned at Legz, at 5.1 stars, the highest rating that a strip club can achieve on alphapro.com. The judges (yes, Legz has judges, three judges, sitting behind a long folding table with a white table cloth, just like the movie. As a matter of fact, the audition for Legz is also in a loft) could have been wowed and deeply moved by her story and could have then decided to give her a dancing job. After triumphantly getting the gig she could have then felt better than she ever had in all of her life. She could have then used tail to her advantage, putting condoms on it and violating other stripper’s belly-buttons as a form of legal artistic sex that West Virginians would tip her $20s for. She could have then saved those $20s and put them in her Popeye cookie jar, waiting for the day that she could get it removed. She could have saved enough money to get it removed, but only in Mexico. She could have then felt so liberated by her tail removal that she then decided to get into porn, first by making this clip in a hotel room in Mexico with her surgeon. But that’s all just speculation.
I need answers and I need them now. What the fuck is happening in this photo? Is that girl so sick of her dad lounging around the house naked with a boner that she is going to finally punch him right in the balls? IS she doing an interpretive dance? Help me with this!