HE SAYS:
Oh porn, why do you always let me down? Just when I think porn is my best friend again, it goes and does something stupid like show me a woman fucking a bowling pin. Fine, she wants huge shit jammed up her snatch, it’s not my thing but whatever. But why does a bowling pin need to be included? It really seems like 13 year old boys come up with this shit sometimes. SHE SAYS:
Jeeze, and I thought that the bowling pin was going to be the only thing that shocked me…her look shocked me. I have seen some small tits in my day, but I honestly don’t think that this girl has any breast tissue at all. I feel bad for her. I also feel bad for her pussy. Nothing that big should ever be shoved inside a poor, defenseless pussy! I treat my pussy with tender loving care, and I think all girls should do the same. Maybe god knew that she was going to treat her woman parts so harshly and decided to not give her breasts because he knew she’d pierce them together or cut them off as part of an extreme body modification or something. Yeah, I decided that is what happened. Now I don’t like her. I hope he also neglected to give her ovaries, because I don’t think this girl should be procreating. I hate her make up too. Basically I hate her. Someone should probably punch this girl in the face if they know her or know of her. Punch her in the ovary too while you are at it, just in case she has them. Thank you.
SHE SAYS:
Did you know that this is how they make dildos? Apparently whores give birth to dildos all the time. Watch this beautiful dildo make its way into the world. May I now present, the birth of a dildo:
SHE SAYS:
I am sorry. I really am. WHY DOES THIS EXIST? Why, as this is being filmed, are multiple cameras going off? WHY??? There is no god. I hope you are skipping church while watching this. I also hope that you are just as perplexed by the action as to what the hell that vegetable actually is. I actually thought it was a parsnip initially. Way to spend a Sunday morning- watch an Asian girl’s colon prairie dog itself all over the place. GOD, if you exist, please answer me: WHY?
Way to go Belladonna, you are the “Dirtiest Girl in Porn!” No doubt it was starring in films like “Ass a Roni,” “Belladonna’s Butthole Whores,” “Cock Pigs” and the family classic “Four in the Pink, Four in the Stink” that earned her this prestigious award. We salute you Belladonna for this achievement in the porn arts!
Here’s a compilation of Belladonna’s skills.
Shoving baseball bats up your ass, AKA the national pastime.
In this scene Belladonna… well, I lost track of everything. There’s a bunch of cocks and a lot of drool.
SHE SAYS:
This is probably one of the most disgusting things I have seen in a very long time. This is worse than that girl’s pussy in my Coca Cola Light post. This guy is stuffing Taco Bell down his hairy throat and then some girl tries to stuff Taco Bell in his hairy ass. This guy is so fucking hairy and his dick is so flaccid that I don’t think I can look at another guy – real or digital – for a while. Or hair. Or Taco Bell. This fucking guy ruined all of my favorite things for me!
HE SAYS:
No no no, you have it all wrong. This is not meant to be porn, I’m pretty sure this is actually a scene from the ABC hit “According to Jim” starring the incredible Jim Belushi, or as I like to call him “The Belush.” It has been a while since you have seen mainstream television because you spend all of your time watching porn. Trust me, this is considered normal TV now.
HE SAYS:
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