My Best Friend Porn

HE SAYS:
I like this clip a lot. I like this girl too. I wish she would have left her shirt on longer though. I love the way boobs look in see though shirts. I could do without the glasses maybe. So that’s shirt on and glasses off please. I’m babbling. It might be because I’m so tired right now I can’t even be bothered to masturbate. I can’t even look my boner in the eye right now. I’M SORRY BONER!

HE SAYS:
What do we have here? A nice guy getting a blowjob from a nice, cute girl. I guess I’m just assuming they are nice though. For all I know they could be the biggest assholes in the world. They could be the kind of people who deliberately speed up when they see you are trying to change lanes. They might kick puppies and swear at old people. You know what? Fuck these jerks and their dumb cum shooting! I hope she has to throw her dumb shirt away! Sorry.

SHE SAYS:
I hated that stupid fucking stupid shirt. And she looked like Anthony Kiedis.

HE SAYS:
I guess this is a clip from Girls Gone Wild. I’m going to go on the record and say I fucking HATE Girls Gone Wild. Every GGW clip is the same… some cute but slightly trashy, insecure girl gets hounded by some douchewad camera man to do this or do that and it’s a chore to watch. I actually kind of like the girl in this clip but the creepy begging from this dick hole cameraman ruins everything. Did I hear this correctly, did she say one of her nipples is not “respecting” her? If so, I love her. This still gave me a boner, I hate myself.

HE SAYS:
I’ve been on vacation for a week but I’m back and ready to spread the good word about porn! Thank you to The Girl for keeping the site up and running while I was gone. Isn’t she the best? I watched this clip before having dinner and watching Lost on the DVR so now I have forgotten everything I wanted to say about it. From memory, this sort of cute Asian gives a very nice blowjob before hopping on top of a fuzzy mustache for a ride. No cumshot? I’m sorry but I need a cumshot.

SHE SAYS:
Awwwwww. The Guy is the best! He put up something for everyday before he left, AND fixed our WordPress problem literally right when he came back. How’s that for dedication? This clip is OK. Definitely cute-ish. Now, if there is one thing that I think I may have a fetish for, it is eyebrows. I love eyebrows on men and on women, and despise the looks of the people that lack them. I just don’t find those people attractive. I also don’t like when they are completely drawn-on. This woman has some weird sperm-shaped drawn-on eyebrows that scare me. Guess what I love to see though? I love the view when getting a mustache ride. Especially if the man giving said ride is very sexy man and has nice eyebrows.

HE SAYS:
Yes, this girl is incredibly cute and has an amazing tight body BUT the view from this room is giving me an equally big boner! I’m guessing this is a hotel in Hawaii. I want to go to Hawaii with this girl and watch her masturbate. I want to help her organize her lube and dildos. How do I get that job?

HE SAYS:
I get so excited when I find a clip that I know will make The Girl happy enough to pee her pants! I am certain she will love this crazy Asian scene and want to marry it. She will want to raise a family with it! Allow me to give you a few keywords concerning the insanity you are about to witness… naked Asians, Mexican wrestling mask, jump rope, hula hoop and measuring tape. All of that is just the foreplay!

SHE SAYS:
The Clip and I are happily married, have three children, and are expecting our fourth. I love The Clip more than anyone else in the entire world. Even when I pee my pants by the sight of him, The Clip still loves me. That’s what I call true love. I will be forever thankful to The Guy for introducing us. I love this clip. I ♥ crazy Asians. Can someone introduce me to one in real life? Someone who would lick my nipples and take my measurements while wearing a Lucha Libre mask and jump rope and let his wiener flop around like a real wiener? Thank you.

I’m glad Annabelle Angel and Anna Angel are such good friends and my boner is happy they bring a photographer along when they roll around in bed in see-through lingerie. I would like to be friends with Anna and Annabelle. Would they require me to change my name to something like “Annette Angel” though?

Need more Anna and Annabelle?

HE SAYS:
I’m a little torn about posting this because the guy creeps me out with his stupid face slapping, boob slapping, ass slapping, grunting like a bear, looking like a bear and I’m guessing smelling like a bear. It takes a while for this girl to get into it but I’d have to say she seems like she’s genuinely enjoying herself after a few minutes. Suddenly after cumming in her mouth, Yogi Bear turns into Mr. nice guy and gives the girl a nice embrace and a kiss. Huh? You just can’t predict what a bear might do.
SHE SAYS:
I feel similarly. I dislike the slapping and the humiliation portions, but I love that he really, really fucks her. You rarely see hump-like-a-rabbit porn but when you do, well, you make love to your porn and masturbate to it. I didn’t get to masturbate to this one, though. I am saving myself for a very special clip today. I would call this one my fluffer though. Very nice.