SHE SAYS:
Yep, that’s right! This guy loves it when you fart on his dick. And this girl loves to fart. Nothin’ true love a brewin’ in this here porno clip. It was really weird to see someone so in love with bacterial gasses though. I actually have a ton of questions for this guy. I mean, does he think it is a sexy sound? Does he like the smell? Does he think it is “dirty” and therefore sexy? Really, who thinks farts are literally sexy? I find it sexy when a man is comfortable with himself and comfortable enough to fart in my presence, but I don’t exactly think I would call the actual farts sexy. OH, fart.
HE SAYS:
Oh porn, why do you always let me down? Just when I think porn is my best friend again, it goes and does something stupid like show me a woman fucking a bowling pin. Fine, she wants huge shit jammed up her snatch, it’s not my thing but whatever. But why does a bowling pin need to be included? It really seems like 13 year old boys come up with this shit sometimes. SHE SAYS:
Jeeze, and I thought that the bowling pin was going to be the only thing that shocked me…her look shocked me. I have seen some small tits in my day, but I honestly don’t think that this girl has any breast tissue at all. I feel bad for her. I also feel bad for her pussy. Nothing that big should ever be shoved inside a poor, defenseless pussy! I treat my pussy with tender loving care, and I think all girls should do the same. Maybe god knew that she was going to treat her woman parts so harshly and decided to not give her breasts because he knew she’d pierce them together or cut them off as part of an extreme body modification or something. Yeah, I decided that is what happened. Now I don’t like her. I hope he also neglected to give her ovaries, because I don’t think this girl should be procreating. I hate her make up too. Basically I hate her. Someone should probably punch this girl in the face if they know her or know of her. Punch her in the ovary too while you are at it, just in case she has them. Thank you.
We’ve discussed some of these fetishes before, like “pedal pushing,” but many of these are new to me. I could only watch about 3 seconds of “belly button torture” before I wanted to die. I HATE having my belly button touched, even by me!
This girl obviously knows how to lose that post-pregnancy baby weight. She also knows how to milk herself and fill your coffee with her boobs from across the room.
SHE SAYS:
Did you know that this is how they make dildos? Apparently whores give birth to dildos all the time. Watch this beautiful dildo make its way into the world. May I now present, the birth of a dildo:
I hate this shit. This kind of porn is totally void of any sexuality. It’s nothing more than a stunt. Boring. Stupid. Lame. I won’t even bother showing the actual gangbang because it’s fucking stupid and abusive. Such a bunch of shit. I hate porn right now.
SHE SAYS:
HE SAYS:
