My Best Friend Porn

Shawna Lenee might not be qualified to save your life but she sucks her patient’s cocks and says “YAY” when you cum on her face.

SHE SAYS:
So, I still haven’t masturbated and I realize that being this horny really does skew my perception when it comes to the quality of porn. OK, there were rim jobs and anal and a scummy mustache and things I don’t normally go for in this clip but it still revved my engine. Did you know that revved had two Vs? I didn’t. Seeing those Vs together actually turns me on. To me, right now, those Vs look like balls. Sexy, manly balls. Why even use “manly” when describing balls? Are there womanly balls, ever? What the fuck am I talking about? I am going crazy. So, to remedy these hallucinations and the use of run-on sentences I am going to take my laptop into the bedroom, and spend some time in there. When I come out, I will be able to supply you with more quality clips. Good day to you!

SHE SAYS:
I am not amused. For many reasons this guy creeps me out. The frosted hair, the tan, leathery skin, the dog tag, the fucking PIERCED DICK, the endless facial. This guy not only creeps me out, he has given me the opportunity to show you what I don’t like in a man. He really is the antithesis of my ideal man.

SHE SAYS:
You know what? I know for a fact that I have talked about this clip before. You know what else? I don’t care. It is awesome enough for two posts. I think that both of their bodies are fantastic, and I especially love the tease in the beginning. I love that I am listening to peppy instrumental 40s music right now as I type this (Rock-a-Bye-Basie by Count Basie at this second) and watching porn with the sound off. It is a quite a juxtaposition and it is putting me in a very good mood. That is all. Happy Saturday Morning to all of you pervs!

SHE SAYS:

So, what do you do while you are waiting for a guy to jerk off on your face? Make sexy faces, of course! What the flying fuck is this girl doing? She is looking directly at the camera for 40 seconds and desperately going through her grab bag of what she thinks is a “sexy face.” Let’s analyze these mother fuckers:

Classic “Kiss Lips”:

Used mainly by teens and girls who already have used about 30 of their fake smiles, so they have to move onto something else.

The “Elvis”:

Used mainly as a transition sexy face. Only used for no more than 2 seconds at a time. In this instance, she is transitioning from “Kiss Lips” to something a bit more difficult.

The “OMG, what the fuck am I going to do for the next 30 seconds?! Is he cumming yet?” A.K.A. OMGWTFAIGTDFTN30S:

Self explanatory.

The “Finally!”

Seriously.

And this one is called “The Clip”

(I am so funny.)

SHE SAYS:

I don’t know, I am kind of into erotic stories now. I think that reading these stories is a nice break from masturbating to visual porn. And it’s totally smarter, right?

LushStories is a site that focuses on erotic stores and has an easily used rating system for its members. Let’s just say that I spend a little too much time on this site tonight.

Here’s a nice little story about ‘Sweet Sandi’ giving a sweet, but not sandy, blowjob. Enjoy making sweet love to yourself you sweet pervert!

SHE SAYS:
His cock doesn’t even look good to me. It looks too long. It looks like it would bruise my cervix. Who the hell wants a bruised cervix? Anyways, I love two things about this clip: 1.) The still that the clip has, she looks cross-eyed. 2.) THE FUCKING COMMERCIAL they make her do at the end while she is covered in cum! As if getting a facial isn’t embarrassing enough!

SHE SAYS:
I guess I am into kitchen sex now, too. I’m also a fan of very sexy, and in this case slightly hooked penises, moderately hairy nether regions and 1997-era gel infused hairstyles. I do like this couple’s rough sex but am VERY annoyed with the “OH GOD” every two seconds. Oh! I almost forgot! Pay close attention to the shot of her face at 7:44. She looks like a retard. That is all. Enjoy!

HE SAYS:
Are you also a fan of naked guys in black socks and dress shoes?