My Best Friend Porn

Calista has huge natural boobs. Calista likes to give blowjobs. Calista likes sex. Thanks Calista.

SHE SAYS:
Whenever I sit down and think about all the people that don’t get fucked enough (this is a nightly ponder by the way), one segment of the population consistently comes to mind: Firemen. Firemen just don’t get the credit, or the sex credit, they deserve. It’s blatantly obvious they need to get laid. What other profession has a calendar promoting their eligibility? What other profession is so sexually desperate? I am embarrassed for them, actually. I am just happy to see that one very kind-hearted young lady decided to make this fireman very happy, breaking the long drought that all Firemen have had to face.

SHE SAYS:
Sexy space women need love too. I have no idea why Ron Jeremy is pissed off at the end of the clip, but I am going to guess that it’s because he missed all of the great, sweaty fucking.

SHE SAYS:
I know they have some awkward sex, but I just had the best orgasm watching it. I guess it reminded me of being a teenager and having sex in basements. Those were the days? Really? No, I don’t think those were really the days. But I would like some more car sex days. Now THOSE were the days. You know what days were really the days? These days. These days are the days, right? Yes, these days are the true days. The days I watch clips and masturbate about having teenage sex in basements are THE days.

SHE SAYS:
I got pretty horny while watching this clip. I am not sure if I am just incredibly horny and this is just one of the first clips I have watched today, or if this clip is actually sexy. I can’t trust myself when my level of horniness is this high. I should probably masturbate and rewatch it.

Yeah, that’s right, here are 3 websites dedicated to hot chicks doing nasty things with dogs! Sort of.

Hot Chicks with Dogs with Boners

Hot Chicks with Hot Dogs in their Mouths

Hot Chicks Picking Up Dog Shit

SHE SAYS:
Yep, that’s right! This guy loves it when you fart on his dick. And this girl loves to fart. Nothin’ true love a brewin’ in this here porno clip. It was really weird to see someone so in love with bacterial gasses though. I actually have a ton of questions for this guy. I mean, does he think it is a sexy sound? Does he like the smell? Does he think it is “dirty” and therefore sexy? Really, who thinks farts are literally sexy? I find it sexy when a man is comfortable with himself and comfortable enough to fart in my presence, but I don’t exactly think I would call the actual farts sexy. OH, fart.

SHE SAYS:
During the first scene, I was pretty excited about this clip. When she was bent over the washing machine and her long legs were on display…wow. And when that guy takes off his shirt…WOW! My anticipation was pretty high for this clip. As far as I knew, the couple was sexy, and they were about to have sexy sex. Well, I was wrong. This girl and her gagging blow jobs and incessant gag-crying-wining COMPLETELY RUINS this clip!!!! Why do people do this? How is the sound of throwing up sexy?