SHE SAYS:
Whenever I sit down and think about all the people that don’t get fucked enough (this is a nightly ponder by the way), one segment of the population consistently comes to mind: Firemen. Firemen just don’t get the credit, or the sex credit, they deserve. It’s blatantly obvious they need to get laid. What other profession has a calendar promoting their eligibility? What other profession is so sexually desperate? I am embarrassed for them, actually. I am just happy to see that one very kind-hearted young lady decided to make this fireman very happy, breaking the long drought that all Firemen have had to face.
HE SAYS:
Because I’m awesome, I decided to post a creampie compilation for all you perverts who love creampies. It is my gift to you. Sit back and enjoy the next ten minutes of creamy cum-filled pussies! (my mom would be so proud of me right now)
SHE SAYS:
I apologize for my level of hate in this post, it is just that I am just so unbelievably tired of these fucking Japanese girls whining and whimpering like fucking babies. Enjoy sex, like a woman would. Stop acting like a child.
SHE SAYS:
Woah. Yeah, she is actually putting that fish tank-quality clear tube INTO HER PUSSY and sucking the cum out of it. She is getting a creampie and drinking the cum via a straw-like tube! Sorry, I had to phrase it in two different ways to get the absurd point across. Watch and enjoy!
HE SAYS:
Congratulations to The Girl for finding the worst thing ever. EVER! I have never seen anything more ridiculous and I’m guessing I never will. This is officially the stupidest thing that has ever taken place in the history of mankind. Everyone involved in this bullshit concept should kill themselves. EVERYONE! The cameraman, director, editor, actors, the actors parents, caterers, the people who manufactured the tube, EVERYONE! I’m officially never looking at the internet again.
SHE SAYS:
Sheesh! It looks pretty tiny, eh? Well, this clip still ends up being sexier than most porn I see. I love, love, love creampies. Good job Mr. Smallpenis. You made my day. …and I NEVER thought I would say that.
HE SAYS:
Why do Asian women in porn always sound like they are giving birth or being murdered during sex? I really liked this clip too. It seemed like the girl was actually really getting off, which always makes a scene hot. Maybe that tiny dick was hitting just the right spot.
SHE SAYS:
Was that an orgasm? Was that even a penis? WAIT! And the next guy, too, at 12:44. I need to know. Wait, is this what is happening: can you just basically hold in your cum – like a sneeze – and then still release after your dick is limp? How in the hell did I not know this? Someone please explain this to me!
HE SAYS:
WHAT THE FUCK? This is the saddest collection of cumshots in the history or porn. I was already confused by the tiny dick at 12:08 but somehow the guy at 12:44 manages to have an orgasm with the world’s smallest, limpest, floppiest dick ever. I have never seen anything like this. Sure, you can be slightly flaccid and still cum but these guys look they just soaked in ice water for 2 hours. I am baffled by this.
HE SAYS:
What is with modern porn stars and their fascination with constantly swearing? Every second it’s “ooooh fuck” and “ahhhh shit” with these people. It’s annoying. You know what else is annoying, this green carpet! Damn, who buys carpet like this? Does the carpeting match the drapes? No, there are no drapes on either the windows or the girls. Luckily with carpet this ugly it does not matter when Cytherea squirts all over it. So yeah, Cytherea squirts all over the place before finally getting a creampie. Cythera has good manners and immediately shares her creampie with her little blonde friend. Sharing is caring.
SHE SAYS:
HE SAYS:
HE SAYS:
