My Best Friend Porn

SHE SAYS:
They also like wearing the same pair of thong underwear extra high on the thigh when they are tanning, as to not mess up that perfect tan line. And they like belly chains. And they like perms. And they like ballet-inspired-flesh-colored-high-heels. 80s lesbians like a lot of things, but there’s nothing they like more than poon diving. Enjoy these lesbians enjoy sexy 80s porny life.

SHE SAYS:
So, I still haven’t masturbated and I realize that being this horny really does skew my perception when it comes to the quality of porn. OK, there were rim jobs and anal and a scummy mustache and things I don’t normally go for in this clip but it still revved my engine. Did you know that revved had two Vs? I didn’t. Seeing those Vs together actually turns me on. To me, right now, those Vs look like balls. Sexy, manly balls. Why even use “manly” when describing balls? Are there womanly balls, ever? What the fuck am I talking about? I am going crazy. So, to remedy these hallucinations and the use of run-on sentences I am going to take my laptop into the bedroom, and spend some time in there. When I come out, I will be able to supply you with more quality clips. Good day to you!

SHE SAYS:
Maria Ozawa is sexy and everyone knows it. I think that the crying/whining in the clip is a bit annoying and the guy is a bit gross, but overall this is a pretty sexy clip. I think you’ll enjoy all 44:54 minutes of it.

HE SAYS:
Agreed, the prerequisite Asian crying is always annoying but I really do love Maria Ozawa. She is simply too pretty to be in porn and that’s a turn-on for me. Thanks for finding this, most of her stuff is censored.

SHE SAYS:
I know. I know that this isn’t how bachelorette parties typically go, but for some weird reason, I liked this clip. I know it is fake and cheesy, but the teasing in the beginning and the laughing and the “fun” it portrayed for some reason got me really horny! I hope The Guy doesn’t make fun of me for liking this one.

HE SAYS:
I swear it’s just a coincidence the The Girl posted a squirting lesbian clip and here I am doing the same. Great perverted minds think alike. I’m actually kind of posting this one for her because I’m positive she will love the way the scene takes its time and builds slowly. Personally, I found the first several minutes to be incredibly sexy. Most porn today ignores the tease, but not this scene.

SHE SAYS:
There are two questions that have been keeping me up at night. 1. What has our beloved friend Pussyman been up to and 2. What does a slo-mo squirt look like coming out of a giant-lipped vagina? Thankfully, this clip answered both! Pussyman is doing what he does best: quietly and patiently observing two skinny teen-boobed porn-gals lick and pound each other with dildos until one of them squirts. Thankfully one of them did. Thankfully Pussyman has slow-motion technology up his sleeve and we get to see the woman’s juice repeatedly spray all over the unlucky, non-squirty party (is that Jassie, by the way?) Enjoy.

I’m not sure that’s the cleanest place to be licking. Even if she wiped like a hundred times after her last #2, there still has to be little poo dust left behind. Sorry, am I ruining this beautiful moment for you?

SHE SAYS:

My maid fantasy is a little more subtle than these. I think the classic outfit is a little too costumey, but I still think it is sexy. I like the idea of a short skirt, thigh highs, and a garter belt. I also like the idea of there being a very long tease. The first clip has a bit of the tease in there…but I would go even further. Maybe start off with a shirt ON or something? Well, without further ado, here are three very different French Maid-themed clips. Enjoy!

HE SAYS:
I know it’s a cliche, but the French maid outfit is fucking hot! Even the cheap ones from your local sex shop are hot. It really is one of the all-time great fantasies and The Girl rules for posting this collection of maid porn!

Ummm…yeah. So, there’s a lot of asshole licking. Not quite my style, but maybe you poop-loving folks will get a kick out of it.

Wonderful lesbian scene. Not quite sure if they are maids or where that ties in, but it doesn’t matter, does it?