My Best Friend Porn

SHE SAYS:
So, yeah. This girl doesn’t look like a teen to me but I guess because she has small tits it means that she’s young, right? Yeah. OK. So, why is she wearing a tiara? And was she born with a congenital sternal cleft? Look at that fucking trench between her little titties!

SHE SAYS:
I really, REALLY can’t stand this couple. They talk the entire time about their fucking skills and I don’t see any. Where are your skills? Where? It is NOT sexy. What is even less sexy than her fucking mouth when there are words coming out of it is when she is making that “shhhhhhhh” sound. What is that? Why do girls do that? What is even LESS sexy than that is the fact that she doesn’t look like she is enjoying herself one bit. I am going to venture to say she has never had an orgasm. She doesn’t look like she is feeling anything. I HATE THIS CLIP AND I HATE THIS COUPLE.

SHE SAYS:
Who wouldn’t love this clip? I mean, who can pass up those fake tits? Those fake tans? Those plastic bras? Those silken gloves? Those sunglasses? Those combat boots? Who can say “no” to a man named “Pussyman?” Certainly not me. Not Briana Banks, either. So, after Pussyman has his way with Ms. Banks, there’s a Comic-Sans-ridden annoying ad. Then we go on to someone taking way too fucking long to get down the stairs in a modified bathing suit and combat boots. Finally, we move on to a fuck scene. That one ends with I gigantic man-gasm which I will try to recreate here: “Ageeeaaaaaah!!!!!! Fuck You! Oooh! Ahhhh! MOTHA FUCKER! AH SHIT! Oh my gaaaaaa??!!!!” Yep. Enjoy.