My Best Friend Porn

How did they manage to film my nightmares? Is it possible for this actress to take enough showers to wash away the memory of this?

Jodie Moore Doesn’t Think Fucking A Clown Is Funny brought to you by PornHub

SHE SAYS:
So, I still haven’t masturbated and I realize that being this horny really does skew my perception when it comes to the quality of porn. OK, there were rim jobs and anal and a scummy mustache and things I don’t normally go for in this clip but it still revved my engine. Did you know that revved had two Vs? I didn’t. Seeing those Vs together actually turns me on. To me, right now, those Vs look like balls. Sexy, manly balls. Why even use “manly” when describing balls? Are there womanly balls, ever? What the fuck am I talking about? I am going crazy. So, to remedy these hallucinations and the use of run-on sentences I am going to take my laptop into the bedroom, and spend some time in there. When I come out, I will be able to supply you with more quality clips. Good day to you!

SHE SAYS:
Jeeze. Desperate indeed. I love the still on this clip…a perfect round moon butt. But let me take a moment to talk about how much I hate the way fake boobs look. I think that they are just as trendy as the classic HORRIBLE “tramp-stamp” tattoo and girls will get over it. I just don’t think that fake boobs look like boobs. Implants perfectly round rocks underneath the skin. Boobs look like fleshy pliable teardrops underneath the skin. Fake boobs are definitely going to be a sign of the late 90s and early 2000s. I think everyone’s over it. Everyone smart is.

SHE SAYS:
“Sperm Generators. We drain their balls of all the vital fluids and we use it to ensure the survival of the female species.” Yeah, that makes a lot of sense to me! Just add a murder, a computer, and a “seer” and tons of lesbian sex and we have ourselves a fucking AWESOME porno!

SHE SAYS:
The only way to truly establish opinions is to know what you DO NOT like as much as what you DO like. Guess what? You are going to learn a lot about me right now. I basically hate everything about this clip. The concrete floors, the giant tattoos, the scrunchie, the bad couch, the all over the place dick slobbering, the butt fingering, the erratic jumping from one thing to the next….I just don’t think any of the actions performed in this clip are sexy. I can confidently say that this clip is GROSS!

SHE SAYS:
I am sorry. I really am. WHY DOES THIS EXIST? Why, as this is being filmed, are multiple cameras going off? WHY??? There is no god. I hope you are skipping church while watching this. I also hope that you are just as perplexed by the action as to what the hell that vegetable actually is. I actually thought it was a parsnip initially. Way to spend a Sunday morning- watch an Asian girl’s colon prairie dog itself all over the place. GOD, if you exist, please answer me: WHY?

HE SAYS:
I am pouring acid in my eyes!

SHE SAYS:
Who wouldn’t be turned on by shells or white rocks of some sort? God, that pair of light-colored-high-waisted denim slacks would really be all that I need to get an orgasm on the spot. And all you’d have to do is keep that crazy shirt on to make me have all of your babies…and, well, if you keep those crazy socks on, I will let you pig roast me and let you film it. Because of this clip, I’ve realized that it doesn’t take much to get a girl to do porn. All you need is the appropriate clothing and to know when to take it off – and more importantly – when to leave it on.

HE SAYS:
There are so many competing colors and crazy fabrics that I almost had a seizure. This guy’s crazy ass shirt almost blends in with the ugly couch like some sort of ridiculous camouflage. I hate these people and I hate their sex. I really don’t enjoy watching two guys fucking a girl, especially when one guy is in the puss and the other is up the pooper. I know a lot of people like to watch that but it does nothing for me. Well it does something, it makes me want to go watch People’s Court instead. I wonder if the guy on the bottom got a little jizzed on when the first guy was cumming. The whole scenario just makes me sad.

SHE SAYS:
Eva Kent says double the pleasure, double the fun, but I don’t think Doublemint will take that stench out of her mouth. Sorry. That was a bad joke. I don’t necessarily mind the presence of two guys – but two guys going at one girl in BOTH HOLES? Doesn’t it look like the guys are fucking each other? GROSS. I still masturbated to this clip though. Twice. Now I am gross.