SHE SAYS:
What? This tanning bed and light jeans loving Fuck holds this poor little Asian above his head while he licks her pussy. This just doesn’t look comfortable. Well, hang on to your knickers and thongs everybody, this guy loves to mime spanking with his belt almost as much as he loves the smell of bleach during his 8AM salon appointments with Judy. I have to say though, as much as I hate her taste in music and his personal style, I kinda liked the blow job and I liked the way it looked when he was entering her from behind. But WAIT! If you are going to skip around, like I did, skip to 23:00. Let’s just say the editing doesn’t make any sense and I think it is probably the best thing ever.
SHE SAYS:
Don’t you love the internet? Don’t you love freaks? I know I do! I wonder if this girl knows she had a stub. I wonder if it was removed when she was a child. I guess she could have grown up with the stub, ridiculed every day of her grade-school life, losing a bit of self-esteem with every tear that streamed down her face as she was being chased home by bullies. I guess she could have grown up and decided to use the last ounce of confidence she had deep inside of her to start practicing her dance moves in front of the mirror to “What a Feeling” blasting in the background. Being very inspired by Flashdance and Jennifer Beals’ nose modification story she could have then used that inspiration and new-found, self-taught dancing skills and auditioned at Legz, at 5.1 stars, the highest rating that a strip club can achieve on alphapro.com. The judges (yes, Legz has judges, three judges, sitting behind a long folding table with a white table cloth, just like the movie. As a matter of fact, the audition for Legz is also in a loft) could have been wowed and deeply moved by her story and could have then decided to give her a dancing job. After triumphantly getting the gig she could have then felt better than she ever had in all of her life. She could have then used tail to her advantage, putting condoms on it and violating other stripper’s belly-buttons as a form of legal artistic sex that West Virginians would tip her $20s for. She could have then saved those $20s and put them in her Popeye cookie jar, waiting for the day that she could get it removed. She could have saved enough money to get it removed, but only in Mexico. She could have then felt so liberated by her tail removal that she then decided to get into porn, first by making this clip in a hotel room in Mexico with her surgeon. But that’s all just speculation.
SHE SAYS:
“…if I could just have sex with her, OH BOY!”
“Oh YAY, your cock is hard, rock hard!”
“It’s a nice big load and it tastes really yummy, too.”
“I think uniforms are so much sexier than just being naked. Don’t they feel great?”
“Why do I need a rectal exam…it’s kinda gross, and embarrassing.”
I am not too crazy about anime porn, but this one wasn’t too bad. As a matter of fact, it got me kinda horny and I laughed out loud to some of the lines. So, enjoy this clip about one lucky man’s sexy journey as assistant manager of an apartment building.
SHE SAYS:
I know they have some awkward sex, but I just had the best orgasm watching it. I guess it reminded me of being a teenager and having sex in basements. Those were the days? Really? No, I don’t think those were really the days. But I would like some more car sex days. Now THOSE were the days. You know what days were really the days? These days. These days are the days, right? Yes, these days are the true days. The days I watch clips and masturbate about having teenage sex in basements are THE days.
SHE SAYS:
So, I still haven’t masturbated and I realize that being this horny really does skew my perception when it comes to the quality of porn. OK, there were rim jobs and anal and a scummy mustache and things I don’t normally go for in this clip but it still revved my engine. Did you know that revved had two Vs? I didn’t. Seeing those Vs together actually turns me on. To me, right now, those Vs look like balls. Sexy, manly balls. Why even use “manly” when describing balls? Are there womanly balls, ever? What the fuck am I talking about? I am going crazy. So, to remedy these hallucinations and the use of run-on sentences I am going to take my laptop into the bedroom, and spend some time in there. When I come out, I will be able to supply you with more quality clips. Good day to you!
SHE SAYS:
I don’t know what it was about this clip…the big hair, the weird spin, the dubbed argument or the smooth Harold Melvin and the Bluenotes finish: it just got me horny. I really think you will enjoy this little pube on the underside of a handsome man’s nutsack. That was a compliment by the way.
HE SAYS:
Wait a second, how did you fail to mention the inclusion of the song “Lady” by Kenny Rogers in this clip?!? Why is “Lady” sandwiched between all that awesome porn disco? It is BRILLIANT! All the music in this scene is amazing! Vintage porn kicks ass over all the boring forced blowjob crap that everyone makes now. Thank you for finding this!!!
SHE SAYS:
I love Alison Angel. I love her lovely, weird ways. This clip’s not so weird though. I still like it. Here you go: a simple masturbation clip starring everyone’s favorite porno weirdo, Alison Angel. Oh yeah, she’s masturbating on a mountain.
HE SAYS:
Alison Angel is so great. I love it when she’s acting crazy but this is nice too. She has such a sexy girl-next-door look. I wish she was my next door neighbor. I hate my neighbors.
SHE SAYS:
You know what? I know for a fact that I have talked about this clip before. You know what else? I don’t care. It is awesome enough for two posts. I think that both of their bodies are fantastic, and I especially love the tease in the beginning. I love that I am listening to peppy instrumental 40s music right now as I type this (Rock-a-Bye-Basie by Count Basie at this second) and watching porn with the sound off. It is a quite a juxtaposition and it is putting me in a very good mood. That is all. Happy Saturday Morning to all of you pervs!
SHE SAYS:
HE SAYS:
