SHE SAYS:
Whenever I sit down and think about all the people that don’t get fucked enough (this is a nightly ponder by the way), one segment of the population consistently comes to mind: Firemen. Firemen just don’t get the credit, or the sex credit, they deserve. It’s blatantly obvious they need to get laid. What other profession has a calendar promoting their eligibility? What other profession is so sexually desperate? I am embarrassed for them, actually. I am just happy to see that one very kind-hearted young lady decided to make this fireman very happy, breaking the long drought that all Firemen have had to face.
SHE SAYS:
Sexy space women need love too. I have no idea why Ron Jeremy is pissed off at the end of the clip, but I am going to guess that it’s because he missed all of the great, sweaty fucking.
SHE SAYS:
They also like wearing the same pair of thong underwear extra high on the thigh when they are tanning, as to not mess up that perfect tan line. And they like belly chains. And they like perms. And they like ballet-inspired-flesh-colored-high-heels. 80s lesbians like a lot of things, but there’s nothing they like more than poon diving. Enjoy these lesbians enjoy sexy 80s porny life.
SHE SAYS:
There’s not much more to say about this clip. If you click on that giant gray arrow, you will find yourself in the world of giant Asian lactating nipples and also fancy music. I guess I didn’t tell you in the title about her ethnicity. I apologize for that. I now apologize for making this longer than it needs to be. OK: GIANT ASIAN LACTATING NIPPLES + FANCY MUSIC = THIS CLIP. Enjoy!
HE SAYS:
WOW, those are a couple of the biggest areolas I have ever seen! Her whole boob is a giant nipple. I would like to point out that with this post, The Girl has posted our 1,000th post! High Five Girl!
SHE SAYS:
What? This tanning bed and light jeans loving Fuck holds this poor little Asian above his head while he licks her pussy. This just doesn’t look comfortable. Well, hang on to your knickers and thongs everybody, this guy loves to mime spanking with his belt almost as much as he loves the smell of bleach during his 8AM salon appointments with Judy. I have to say though, as much as I hate her taste in music and his personal style, I kinda liked the blow job and I liked the way it looked when he was entering her from behind. But WAIT! If you are going to skip around, like I did, skip to 23:00. Let’s just say the editing doesn’t make any sense and I think it is probably the best thing ever.
SHE SAYS:
Don’t you love the internet? Don’t you love freaks? I know I do! I wonder if this girl knows she had a stub. I wonder if it was removed when she was a child. I guess she could have grown up with the stub, ridiculed every day of her grade-school life, losing a bit of self-esteem with every tear that streamed down her face as she was being chased home by bullies. I guess she could have grown up and decided to use the last ounce of confidence she had deep inside of her to start practicing her dance moves in front of the mirror to “What a Feeling” blasting in the background. Being very inspired by Flashdance and Jennifer Beals’ nose modification story she could have then used that inspiration and new-found, self-taught dancing skills and auditioned at Legz, at 5.1 stars, the highest rating that a strip club can achieve on alphapro.com. The judges (yes, Legz has judges, three judges, sitting behind a long folding table with a white table cloth, just like the movie. As a matter of fact, the audition for Legz is also in a loft) could have been wowed and deeply moved by her story and could have then decided to give her a dancing job. After triumphantly getting the gig she could have then felt better than she ever had in all of her life. She could have then used tail to her advantage, putting condoms on it and violating other stripper’s belly-buttons as a form of legal artistic sex that West Virginians would tip her $20s for. She could have then saved those $20s and put them in her Popeye cookie jar, waiting for the day that she could get it removed. She could have saved enough money to get it removed, but only in Mexico. She could have then felt so liberated by her tail removal that she then decided to get into porn, first by making this clip in a hotel room in Mexico with her surgeon. But that’s all just speculation.
SHE SAYS:
“…if I could just have sex with her, OH BOY!”
“Oh YAY, your cock is hard, rock hard!”
“It’s a nice big load and it tastes really yummy, too.”
“I think uniforms are so much sexier than just being naked. Don’t they feel great?”
“Why do I need a rectal exam…it’s kinda gross, and embarrassing.”
I am not too crazy about anime porn, but this one wasn’t too bad. As a matter of fact, it got me kinda horny and I laughed out loud to some of the lines. So, enjoy this clip about one lucky man’s sexy journey as assistant manager of an apartment building.
SHE SAYS:
I know they have some awkward sex, but I just had the best orgasm watching it. I guess it reminded me of being a teenager and having sex in basements. Those were the days? Really? No, I don’t think those were really the days. But I would like some more car sex days. Now THOSE were the days. You know what days were really the days? These days. These days are the days, right? Yes, these days are the true days. The days I watch clips and masturbate about having teenage sex in basements are THE days.
SHE SAYS:
HE SAYS:
