My Best Friend Porn

Happy Halloween you perverts.

Holy fucking shit, I love you Met-Art! Jenya D is flawless and these are the sexiest pics ever taken of you incredible nude body. I wonder how long the photographer’s boner lasted. A week? Month? Best Jenya D photos ever!

Met-Art RULES!

Alexis Silver is a terrible private detective. She should be pounding the pavement, looking for the guy who stole your credit cards but instead SHE’S getting pounded on her desk. Sadly, this otherwise great scene ends with about 1 drop of depressing cum dribbling on her amazing huge natural tits. Come on dude, get on the Peter North “ropes” diet!

Sadly, one of the greatest humans on the planet, Bob Guccione, has pasted on, but luckily for us, he left a long legacy of incredible jerk off material. If all porn except for Penthouse magazine disappeared from the earth I would have no problem finding plenty of inspiration for private self-love sessions.

Penthouse magazine has the reputation of being much raunchier than its rival Playboy but I don’t think that’s exactly accurate, at least not up until the 90s when everyone started competing with hardcore porn movies. I would argue that Penthouse was sexual while Playboy was kind of sterile. Don’t get me wrong, I jerked off to both magazines A LOT in high school but, looking back, I can now see that Playboy was selling pretty girls and Penthouse was selling SEX!

[Huge Penthouse gallery after the jump]

Penthouse was selling sex but it was more subtle than you might think. Sure, Penthouse would “show more” but Guccione’s magazine was better at the art of the tease than you might think. Penthouse knew how to present seduction in a less obvious way than Playboy and the end result was fucking sexy! They even found a way to make people masturbate to the written word thanks to the “true” stories found in “Forum.” Holy shit, Forum was as fucking hot as the pictorials!

Current pornographers should learn a thing or two from Bob Guccione. Less really can be much more when it comes to the erotic arts. Rest in peace Bob and thank you for some of the best self-induced orgasms of my life!

Why Penthouse is awesome:
- Huge fuzzy bush
- Fur Coats
- Nude girls on the beach literally fucking the ocean
- Girls only wearing the top half of bikinis
- Pool Floats!
- 1/2 open robes and shirts
- Lesbians
- Lace gloves (you know you miss them)
- TAN LINES!
- Finally, my favorite, the hand lazily touching the vagina

Our tribute to Penthouse Magazine

Bogdana B. fucking rules! Look at that petite, tight, little body, those perky tits and that perfect ass. Also, that peach looks really juicy.

I love Mad Men and I love Don Draper’s secretary (and more) Megan, played by Jessica Paré! I love Jessica Paré even more when she’s topless or nude and gives us a glimpse of those big natural tits. She’s been nude a few times, most recently in “Hot Tub Time Machine.” She also has some sexy lesbian sex in “Lost & Delirious” with her costar Piper Perabo, thank you very much. So Jessica Paré, we salute you, we salute Mad Men and we salute your amazing nude tits!

Jessica Paré Nude Gallery

Hey, I have a great idea. Let’s watch hot women oil each other up and participate in the ancient sport of lesbian massage. For your viewing pleasure, a collection of sexy lesbian massage sex.

Karlie Montana and Madison Ivy start with a massage but quickly end up with a face-full of pussy.

Sativa Rose, Aubrey Addams, Demi Della and Roxy Deville have a massage orgy. Oh yeah, and there a bunch of dildos there too.

Super oiled up Japanese lesbian nuru massage. Thank you god!

Hot young girl covers another hot your girl in massage oil and the hotness gets hotter.

And our favorite… Bree Olsen’s incredible lesbian massage!

Bubbling is the greatest innovation masturbation has seen in years. Bubbling is genius! Take any photo of your favorite girl in a bikini, bubble it and start FAPPING all over the place!

Bubbling