SHE SAYS:
I am sorry. I really am. WHY DOES THIS EXIST? Why, as this is being filmed, are multiple cameras going off? WHY??? There is no god. I hope you are skipping church while watching this. I also hope that you are just as perplexed by the action as to what the hell that vegetable actually is. I actually thought it was a parsnip initially. Way to spend a Sunday morning- watch an Asian girl’s colon prairie dog itself all over the place. GOD, if you exist, please answer me: WHY?
SHE SAYS:
Was that an orgasm? Was that even a penis? WAIT! And the next guy, too, at 12:44. I need to know. Wait, is this what is happening: can you just basically hold in your cum – like a sneeze – and then still release after your dick is limp? How in the hell did I not know this? Someone please explain this to me!
HE SAYS:
WHAT THE FUCK? This is the saddest collection of cumshots in the history or porn. I was already confused by the tiny dick at 12:08 but somehow the guy at 12:44 manages to have an orgasm with the world’s smallest, limpest, floppiest dick ever. I have never seen anything like this. Sure, you can be slightly flaccid and still cum but these guys look they just soaked in ice water for 2 hours. I am baffled by this.
HE SAYS:
I really wish I could speak German right about now. I love this clip. I want to marry this clip. I want to marry this clip and have German babies with it. I want to raise our German family in Germany and I want to get a job as a guy who receives blowjobs in German blowjob school. SHE SAYS:
I wish to take classes at German blowjob school.
I’m ashamed of my title for this post. My brain tried to stop me but my fingers just kept typing. I’m sorry, but if you are a porn star named Jessica Bangkok you really open yourself up for obvious cock-banging jokes. Apparently you also open yourself up for actual cocks.
I could listen to the crazy publicinvasion.com guy talk to and negotiate with girls all day. He’s so calm about it. The next time I see a hot girl I’m going to walk right up to her and say, “You want I should put sperm in your mouth” and see if works for me as well as it does for this crazy son-of-a-bitch.
SHE SAYS:
Who wouldn’t be turned on by shells or white rocks of some sort? God, that pair of light-colored-high-waisted denim slacks would really be all that I need to get an orgasm on the spot. And all you’d have to do is keep that crazy shirt on to make me have all of your babies…and, well, if you keep those crazy socks on, I will let you pig roast me and let you film it. Because of this clip, I’ve realized that it doesn’t take much to get a girl to do porn. All you need is the appropriate clothing and to know when to take it off – and more importantly – when to leave it on.
HE SAYS:
There are so many competing colors and crazy fabrics that I almost had a seizure. This guy’s crazy ass shirt almost blends in with the ugly couch like some sort of ridiculous camouflage. I hate these people and I hate their sex. I really don’t enjoy watching two guys fucking a girl, especially when one guy is in the puss and the other is up the pooper. I know a lot of people like to watch that but it does nothing for me. Well it does something, it makes me want to go watch People’s Court instead. I wonder if the guy on the bottom got a little jizzed on when the first guy was cumming. The whole scenario just makes me sad.
I’ve talked about my love for tan lines before on this site and I decided to start a little tan lines gallery series. I’m sure my love for naked girls with tan lines started when I was a kid and found my dad’s Playboys from the late 60s and early 70s. Those women were great. They had real bodies with curves and frequently sported sexy tan lines. I love that tan lines make a naked girl look even MORE naked because you can see where the clothes used to be. I salute you tan lines!
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